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"Top Online Dating Mistakes to avoid (Online Dating Tips) ... "

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Online dating is getting more popular, yet it can be a very frustrating and time consuming experience for most men. Internet dating does not seem to be for everyone. Also tips and tricks are available to subscribers to assist with everything, from the profile, to getting your emails read, calling her on the phone, and the first date.

The proven method we are presenting on this website has helped countless guys meet the partner of their dreams. The system is so simple that even a computer could execute it, and we did just that...

Does online dating work? Or would you agree that online dating sucks? Too many guys spend so much time trying to get dates online and not getting responses. Many people looked for an Internet dating ghostwriter coach or software, means of improving their online dating emails, PUA tools and an artificial intelligence software (or: machine learning based software) that generates emails out of dating profiles. Since the customization takes up most of the time of writing the initial email, we developed a computer-program (some people call it a "Bot" or "Robot" program) that automatically customizes emails based on a woman's profile. Improving your conversation starters and getting a response can be done with the system here. Some people need some templates, examples and ideas for replying to online dating ads. This website enriches your dating experience on personals websites by providing information about things, such as email tips, subject lines, tag lines, advice on etiquette, topics, common mistakes to avoid and success stories for your reference.

As a subscriber you will have full access to the email customization software as well as to the my writings that will help you solve specific problems with online dating. Below is an excerpt of my e-book. By now it has been updated a bit, but I'm sure you will still learn something.

Top Online Dating Mistakes to avoid (Online Dating Tips)

Nineteen Mistakes Men make with Online Dating

As online dating becomes more and more "fashionable", I have never met a lot of guys that went on a lot of dates that they met online. I met many gals from online, had good and bad dates, and after quizzing some people about what they tried online, the following mistakes became apparent. The following are in no particular order.

1. Loaded Topics on Dates

There is no need to avoid loaded topics. In fact, you should be able to talk about anything on a date as long as you set it up right. I've read a lot of advice about avoiding certain topics (politics, religion etc.) and stick with save topics (e.g. movies). If you are going on a couple of dates with different prospects, then please remember what you've talked about. You should remember things you've talked about in emails (esp. true when you have used a software to automatically customize the first email you send out). So how does one bring up a loaded topic without blowing it? Tell a story about somebody else and what happened. You can ask jokingly afterwards "But you are not like that, are you?" You can get away with almost anything as long as it's playful.

2. Approval Seeking on the Date

Never forget that the purpose of the date is to determine if you are right for each other (and have some fun in the process). This means you must do your part and find out if she is right for you. Do not try and convince her that you are right for her or even appear to care about trying ("What are you looking for in a guy?" is a bad question) - this won't work and it's much better if she figures out by herself that you are a good catch. Do not try to impress her. Your part of the date is to find out if she is right for you. If her profile was vague (they always are), you should have tons of questions. Find out if she is right for you, find out if she has commonalities with what YOU like.

3. Lame Dates

I'm not a big fan of the traditional dinner/movie date. Also I can't talk with my mouth full and am not supposed to talk during movies, so the traditional stuff doesn't work for me. I like to get to know the girl as much as possible. Going for a drink might not be a classy thing to do, coffee is a bit too cliche... I like to go for some activity (ice skating, window shopping in the mall etc.) I enjoy where we can talk. Ideally it involves a little bit of physical activity to get the blood flowing a bit.

4. Lame subject line

The first thing she sees when you email the girl is your subject line, not your profile. If she gets a lot of email (and she does, if she is beautiful), then she will decide which ones to read based on what looks interesting. Subject lines like "hello", default subject lines by the dating website, and so on will just blend in with the 50 other guys that used the same boring subject line. If she does not even read your email, then you will never meet her.

5. Lame screen-name

The second thing she sees, before she even reads your email, is your screen name. Most guys choose boring screen-names, like "Denver1970", famous characters or generic labels. Be creative. With your email, profile and screen-name woman will try to stick you into a category. It is better to leave some intrigue. If you call yourself "lawyerGuy1234", "scubaDude", "loveToLaugh" ... all very generic. All a label. The worst I've ever seen is "lastchance4luv". That just screams needy. You want to be a little bit mysterious in the beginning. Pick a screen-name that gets her imagination going. It goes the other way, too. If her screen-name is "littlePrincess", "dramaQueen", "jealousBitch" or something like that, I would stay away from her. Just a hunch...

6. Invest too much time into the profile

Guys spend hours and hours writing and rewriting their profile. This is more often than not a waste of time as it is not the first thing she will see from you (you email her first, right?). A good profile builds intrigue, demonstrates desirable facts about you (e.g., you are funny), but acts more as a point of reference. One major difference between pay-sites and free websites is that woman will rarely contact you on the pay-sites (because many of them are too cheap to pay for a subscription). On the free sites a funny, outstanding profile might get womans attention, and she might email you something like "Haha, that was a funny profile" (that's her way of saying: talk to me; and you should send her your standard initial email). Otherwise, think of a profile more as a brochure where a woman that you have emailed can get more information about you.

7. Trying to convince her to like you

Guys spend hours writing 5 page long emails explaining how they like all the same stuff the woman likes, and how they are perfect for each other. Ugh ... You can not convince somebody to fall in love with you. What this tells a woman is that you just invested hours of your time explaining yourself to a total stranger (and you expect her to read all that). Would you date a woman that sends you long emails explaining how you guys are perfect for each other? Probably not, especially if all she knows about you is what you wrote in your profile. Why do guys expect a woman to believe them that they are a true romantic by writing "I'm the most romantic guy you will ever meet" or "I love to laugh"? Crack a joke in your emails instead.

8. Idealize the woman

Let us briefly discuss what Internet dating can and can not do for you. Online dating puts you in contact with hundreds of woman in your area that are actively looking to meet a great guy. That's a major advantage. On the other hand, online dating only puts you in touch with those girls, and you will have to convince them to first talk on the phone and then meet up in person. Once you meet in person, you are back to square one, because most of the "courtship" is non-verbal (i.e. during your emails and phone-conversation this was missing!), and you have to slowly build trust and comfort in person. No matter how comfortable and into each other it seemed when you were talking online or on the phone, you are starting at square one when you meet in person. Also, know that people exaggerate their good qualities when presenting themselves online (read: they lie!). And reading a profile will make your imagination fill in all the blanks with exactly what you want (she will do that, too; the final meeting in person is always a surprise), because you can not observe cues in her body-language or voice that would contradict what you want her to be like. So what can online dating do for you? You can meet a ton of people easily from the comfort of your home, but don't idealize her. Hold your judgment until you meet her in person.

9. Write a profile that blends in with the crowd

Many guys have no idea what to write and will look for inspiration at other profiles. So what happens is that they write a profile that blends in with the crowd. So, why would a woman write you? Who are you anyway? This might explain why everybody loves to laugh, is smart, and really loves the outdoors.

10. Instant Messenger

Talking on instant messenger is a big waste of time. You are too available too early on, you invest a lot of time talking to her that could be spend otherwise, and you might never get her on the phone or meet her in real life. Instant Messenger is a trap, avoid it.

11. Bad Photo

Most woman spend hours picking out a picture they put online. Most pictures of guys look like they picked the first best. Your photo should score an 8 or above on HotOrNot or similar sites, before you use it online. Before you tell me that you are too ugly or whatever, consider that your score is significantly influenced by what you clothing wear, your haircut etc. These are all things that are in your control. Woman will also judge by what can be seen in the background of the picture. Do not post shirt-less pictures, a picture of your car or anything tacky like that.

12. Sex talk

Do not talk about sex in your emails. Period. Doing so will ensure that you will never have sex with her in real life. The reason is she might think you're needy and only out for that one thing, if you bring it up to early. Check this out: if you get together with her, sex will be a given. You both know what you are here for, there is no need to bring it up. Bringing it up too early kills it. You might run into a woman that brings up sex. Don't go for it. Ignore it, talk about something else. Or tease her about trying to get into your pants.

13. They send unpersonalised form emails

Once a guy figures out that he spends way too much time sending way too long emails, many come up with the brilliant idea to just send a generic email template to each woman. Those look similar to the following:

  • Hi, my name is Brat. I'm 25, 6'0 tall and have blue eyes. I go to grad school .... blah blah more boring stuff... Write back if interested. (Do you see anything you might like? Please write back...)
  • Hi, I just read your profile and we have so much in common. We should talk... (Then why don't you write to her what you have in common?)
Woman are not stupid and you will never get a reply to any of those standard emails. There is nothing wrong with not investing too much time into the first email and maybe even some kind of form-letter, but please personalize it just a little bit. There is even software out there that does personalize email templates using her profile for you.

14. Don't take it offline ASAP

Most guys spend months and months talking with a woman online. Man, you are there to meet people! Get her phone-number within the first 5 emails tops. If she is unwilling to give up the digits, you are wasting your time. How likely do you think it is that she will ever give them out to you? She is there to meet new people as well. Hell, read the story from a guy who talked 6 months to a gal online, and then found out that he was talking to his own mother. 6 months! Don't be that guy...

15. Talking to gals that live more than 50 miles away from you

Keep it local. Do you really want to start out with a long distance relationship? Do you know what you are getting yourself into? Do you expect to move (or her to move) just to be with her? Talking to gals that life more than 50 miles away from you is a waste of your time.

16. Overestimate the odds of Internet Dating

Online dating can put you in touch with a lot of people, but how many of them will be locals? Even if a site has 1000 new members each week, how many of them will be living close to you, within your age-range and so on? How many of them will stay active for a longer period of time and not just have signed up, because the website forced them to create an account to read somebody's profile when they were browsing? This all can be very deceptive. Yes, they are woman that are giving it a serious try, but you can probably email all the woman you are interested in within a one month membership. Don't waste your money. Also, consider trying the free dating websites as e.g. PlentyOfFish. See it as another way of meeting new people, but it should never be your only way. Consider being on several different dating websites at once, if it is your only means of meeting woman (e.g., you work odd hours).

17. At the meeting they assume it's on

Not true. You got a date, you've never met the other person in real life. She will be different than you imagined her to be, you will be different than she imagined you. Therefor you must warm up to each other in the beginning of your date.

18. Not trying to find out if she is right for you

Seriously. Guys fall in love with some idealized woman, just from a profile and a picture, trying to convince her that she should meet up, and never ask a single question about her (short of asking about stuff she wrote about herself). Don't you have questions you'd love to know? Is she crazy, overly jealous or is the IRS trying to put her in jail? Does she mind you going out on a guys-night-out (given that she might insist on having her girls-night out with all her friends)? Does she like the same movies/music/sports-team/vacation-locations/whatever you like? There should be some questions you want to ask. Ask them. Find out if she is right for you.

19. Choose a "real" girl

Are you selecting 18 year olds with profiles like "wow, lol, so I thought I wuld check this out, lmk what's up, PEACE!!" and she has not logged in for over three weeks? Good luck with that. Make sure your girl has more than one photo, has a real profile (esp. important for social networking sites) with no links to Cam/Porn-sites or 3562 friends on her profile and has logged in more than once. Your dating website does allow you to see when they were last active, right? (IF not, they probably do not have a very active user base).

Please Copy me...

I believe that avoiding these mistakes can make Online Dating work for anybody. I herby grant permission for every reader to reproduce this article ( on your website. But copy this article ONLY, without any changes or alterations whatsoever. Include this copyright statement, too, please. If you have some website with dating or online dating related content, this article will provide great content and help your visitors avoid these crucial mistakes I listed. (Note: The permission is for this article only AND NO OTHERS. Reproducing or hosting my articles without my express written permission is illegal, immoral, lame, and a violation of my copyright). Copyright © 2007 by

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This is slightly rewritten version of a post I once made in a "dating-advise" forum. Quite a few things I learned from other people (some of them PUA), namely Mr. DeAngelo and people he interviewed, so don't give me all the credit :-) Posting © 2007

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This system for writing online dating emails and generating funny profiles for internet dating websites. We used the experiences we gathered through experimentation and study of existing literature to engineer this system, but you should keep in mind that the system is for entertainment purposes only as we can not warrant that any of this would actually work in the real world for everybody alike. This page is Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved. This computer system (website) is ONLY FOR AUTHORIZED USE. Use of this website, authorized or unauthorized, constitutes consent to monitoring. Unauthorized use may subject you to criminal prosecution. Evidence of unauthorized use collected during monitoring may be used for criminal or other adverse action. Use of this website constitutes consent to monitoring for these purposes. Please note that by using this website you are bound by our Terms of Service. Please find our privacy policy in the terms-of-service document. You must be 21 years or older to enter and/or use this website. You acknowledge that you are responsible for your own actions, esp. with respect to complying with the Terms-of-Service of third-party websites.
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